Just thinking the name of a man who's broken my heart, STILL registers a pang of sadness in my chest. It doesn't seem to matter how many years may have past. And anyone knows that thinking about someone can happen anytime without warning or easily be triggered by something happening in the current moment.
Recently at a dinner seminar event, I sat next to a a guy who said he was psychic and could read people's colors in their auras and chakras. When he scanned me, he told me that I had a lot of yellow color around my heart, that he could tell my heart was sad and hurting. And he was right.
I've done so much healing work of all sorts on myself. I've gone to countless meditations, healing practitioners, and experienced varied unique healing modalities, but I'm beginning to wonder if Frodo's quote from the Lord of the Rings finale that "There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep...that have taken hold." My mind remembers the tragedies of failed relationships. The betrayals. Flashbacks occur and trigger pains in my heart. Eventually my heart literally built some armor around itself. A healing worker found a lump formed over my heart chakra. I was able to work on it with essential oils, crystals, and lots of emotional meditation healing sessions. But nothing can stop my mind from remembering. Maybe some heartbreaks are just meant to bother us for an entire lifetime. Maybe that is one gift of death: getting to forget all the hurt and betrayals and going back to a place of unconditional, ever-lasting love: Heaven.
Scientists discovered during a research study that pain from a broken heart registers in the same part of the brain as a broken arm. I wrote a paper about it back in college. I don't remember the exact date, but what does that really matter.
~Mandelyn Reese
The Street Angel
8/17/2016
💔💓 thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteWhen I was five years old walking down the hall in school a boy came from out of nowhere that I had never seen before and kicked me in my Yoni with all his might as you can imagine I was never the same from that day on as I didn't feel safe in my own home because I was being abused on a daily basis I thought I was safe and school and found out that I wasn't it was a sad day indeed soon after I started having terrible pains in my heart and thought I might be having a heart attack when I told my mother she said six year old girls don't get heart attacks I said that's probably true but I might have a congenital heart defect most likely I was having an anxiety attack from the stress and the anxiety that I was under while living in this jail my parents were both narcissus one covert the other overt I didn't know thanks thing was wrong with them cuz I was just a little girl trying to get through the day. Later on when I was about 12 I took myself to my first therapist with my babysitting money after a failed attempt at running away wearing my father found me at Friendly's having what I thought was going to be my last dinner in the town that I was living in at the time but one of my friends ratted me out and he came to take me back home because when he asked how far do you think you're going to get on your babysitting money I realized he was probably right and it would be more dangerous then going back home so I dealt with the situation as best as I could buy reading tons of books on self-help spirituality and spending lots of time at my friends houses. Being a highly sensitive person with higher sensory perception and multi-dimensional may have helped me in some ways but it also made it hard for me because of my sensitivities and it was very painful indeed. Birth trauma childhood trauma set you up for adult trauma and you end up attracting the same types of people into your life because they feel so familiar but it's that feeling of familiarity that you have to really watch out for. It was rough being assigned the role of scapegoat in my family but then later on they actually tried to make me into a linchpin for an entire family's Psychopathology for Generations so this stuff is very very deep and I've been working very hard on myself because there's nothing I can do to change any of them they can't see me hear me feel me and they don't want to know me but the good news is there's a big world out there with millions of people who could be part of our family we have to make our own way in the world we are kind of like orphans in our own families but look on the bright side it makes us stronger wiser and it forces us not to be misled into a false sense of security with the within our own family. I have suffered incomprehensible pain on every level accidents injuries life-threatening illnesses c-ptsd depression Salmonella poisoning chemical poisoning betrayal it goes on and on and on but the good news is we really can Rise From the Ashes and take the hand that we were dealt and make something great out of it I know you're trying and I just want to acknowledge you for that and tell you that I love you Angel sister of mine. Hang in there! It only gets better. I promise! Never give up. It's not about looks or beauty or brain it's really about character and having the perseverance to follow through and never give up like Gandhi said we have to fight the good fight.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that all of those things happened to you. Thank you for sharing your good views and kind words. If you're interested, I just officially & professionally recorded my Epic Healing Meditation {26 minutes} and it's available on my website under the "Meditations" tab. Namaste <3
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