Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Overcoming Bad Days

When it comes to life, I don't think anyone would argue with the fact that life has its challenges and obstacles. Unless you live out your entire existence in a padded room with little stimuli or interaction with the outside world, things are going to happen to you in your life that shake your foundation, change your path, and maybe even alter your reality. Sometimes in life things happen that can just feel so gut-wrenching or stressful, that you find yourself wondering what to do next, or even how you’ll go on. What has worked for me during difficult times is prayer, finding hope, having courage, and just making it all the way through the day into going to sleep, and usually by the next morning, I feel better or things feel different after the “dust has settled” from the upheaval.

     One of the most powerful things you can do in an intense moment that has brought you to your knees, is to pray or chant positive words. Many great philosophers of the past have said it’s these defining moments in life that are actually catalysts for growth. Everything is in constant growth, change, or evolution. Even if you’re an atheist, praying to whatever you believe in or chanting positive words or affirmations can help you get through the tough times. Shifting your mind to anything higher on the positivity scale can save you from drowning in sorrow, fears, self-sabotaging thoughts and actions, or even lift your mood when you’re sick. The mind can be like a downward spiral if you’re not cognizant to the fact that you can stop it and turn it around. Research shows that positive thoughts are much more powerful than negative thoughts. One of the easiest ways to shift into positive thinking are to give thanks for all of the things you can be grateful for. No matter how bad things get, you can find something to feel grateful for. I try to remember to thank the universe daily that I have my basic senses: I can see, hear, taste, smell, and touch. I have all of my abilities and can perform some tasks above average. I recognize that beauty fades and the body deteriorates over time, so I try to remember to be grateful for each day that I am functioning at my prime. When you set the intent to have an attitude of gratitude, via the Law of Attraction you will experience more positive things entering your life. It’s true that what you put out there comes back to you, sometimes immediately, and sometimes after some time. Relationships can be like our mirrors, showing us areas to work on where we can be more patient, understanding, tolerant, kind, and show unconditional love. 

     Based on how things have gone in my life, I have learned to look at each day as a birth and death. Some days have been so bad, that it’s felt like I could die from the experiences of the day. When your life takes a turn for the worst, take a moment to visualize yourself as a strong, graceful lioness, with the strength to tackle and get through anything. Finding that inner flame that burns strong with courage can give you the will to go on. No matter what you’re going through, you don’t have to go through it alone unless you choose to. If you desire it, you can reach out and find someone who’d be willing to help you cope and work through a traumatic or stressful experience.
     Hope is another important facet to find in any difficult situation. If you find yourself at one of your lowest points in life, maybe a devastating end to a relationship or the sudden loss of a job, look for that glimmer of hope to keep you going. Find or create something to look forward to, something that makes you smile or excited to plan for. There have been times in my life where I was debating whether or not to go on with life, because I was just so heartbroken and drowning in sorrowful emotions. And yet, despite all the heaviness I was feeling, there was this little speck of hope that remained inside of me that gave me just enough strength to not give up that day, and to make it through another day. If you can hold on long enough, eventually you will come out of the clouds and see the sunrise dawning of a new chapter unfolding before you: a blank canvas that you can create new experiences on. I am such a different person now. Things that used to scare me are now viewed more as a challenge to overcome or a lesson to learn. People underestimate the power of their thoughts, which can ultimately shape and decide the quality of their life, moment by moment. Now that I've gained a higher awareness of how my thoughts and feelings directly affect my life experiences, I put more effort into being aware of what I'm thinking and do my best to wrangle my mind more often to be more positive, more grateful, more courageous, fear less, and have more tolerance and patience towards others.

     Once you are cognizant of your thoughts and how your negative self-defeating thoughts can bring you down into an emotional tailspin, you can work towards releasing and counteracting them as best you can, so they don’t continuously build up and create more heavy energy in your body that weighs you down and weakens your immune system. Are your thoughts positively serving you or making you feel bad? Notice how your thoughts and emotions are affecting you physically. Is your chest tight? Shoulders tensed up? Eyes squinted? Focus on relaxing, finding inner peace, and letting your tensed up body release into a state of calm. Release the worry habit, have faith, and let go of your cares to the universe, God, Angels, or whatever higher power you believe in. Picture a young baby: the glow of innocence, curiosity, and awe that’s in their eyes. Be like a child again, imagine yourself cradled in the hands of Mother Earth, being nurtured and stroked with unconditional love. This feeling is your natural state and birthright. Try to think of how it would feel to be enclosed in the soft comforting feathers amidst the wings of an angel. You can experience this feeling anytime you need it by simply remembering it and tapping into it mentally.

With Actress Amy Smart from Transporter, The Butterfly Effect, & Road Trip

     I hope that these tips will provide you with some tools and comfort to navigate your most challenging times that life may bring. Just remember, you have all the strength, light, and potential inside you that you could ever need. You are your own untapped resource. J
                                         Mandelyn Reese
                                      The LA Street Angel

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

10 Bitter Truths About Adulthood

Recently I decided to try out a free month trial of Netflix. One night, when I found myself with nothing to do, I began to peruse their movie offerings, and ended up settling on watching a movie called, "Ask Me Anything." This movie is about a young woman caught somewhere between the post-high school and early college age, who is sleeping around with various men and documenting her crazy sex life in an anonymous blog. While I found the movie to be strangely entertaining and amusing, it also was quite thought-provoking upon its completion. There were "10 Bitter Truths About Adulthood for your reading pleasure" that were presented by a man played by Christian Slater in the movie. I wrote them down, and then ultimately decided that they were worded too "negatively". Here in THIS blog, I will share what the movie shared as their view of "10 Bitter Truths About Adulthood", but I will revise some of them to not be so "permanent", all-encompassing, and "negative" in their viewpoint. In my opinion, we need more POSITIVITY and uplifting outlooks in this matrix/society/world.

1) "Complete honesty is a complete lie."
 My revised version: "Complete honesty is complete honesty." However, the only one who knows you're speaking complete honesty is YOURSELF. Other people can listen to you, but they'll never know if what you speak is the full truth, has omitted information, or if your stories are skewed or exaggerated etc... You could be telling someone the entire truth about your situation, and they may still doubt you and think you're lying and hiding other information. This type of doubting person can absolutely drive you NUTS because YOU KNOW you were sharing the whole truth!! A great example of this is being interrogated by police. If they have their mind made up that you were a culprit behind something, they will refuse to believe whatever you tell them, even if YOU KNOW that your "alibi" is fully true and valid. Another great example is once someone close to you catches you in a lie or finds out you've hidden some parts of a story....then forevermore they will always think your stories will have holes and lies in them. This can be most difficult to deal with, because you may never be able to convince them of your truth in the future, and end up feeling exasperated trying to explain yourself to one of these people.

2) "Marriage is sacred only to those who've never been married."
My revised version: "Marriage is sacred to those who CHOOSE to believe that it is sacred."
Having been married and subsequently divorced myself, I do have my own individual beliefs about marriage, one obviously being that hopes for a marriage to last for the remainder of your lifetime in this body, may not come true, no matter how hard you try. I'm sure many of the people in the "50% divorce rate" bracket may agree with me. However, just because a person experiences a "failed" marriage, doesn't mean they won't consider marriage to be a "sacred" practice between two people. What is marriage anyway? A piece of paper politically approving that two people are joining in a legally recognized relationship? An agreement between two people that they love each other and will stay together honoring promises and vows? Things change, it's inevitable. Both individuals are unique specimens that are in constant change throughout their lifetime in a body. The body changes. The person's interests change, the person's career and family units may change. Due to constant changes, two people who love each other may or may not stay in congruence with the changes within and all around them that make it right or easy to continue being together. Love can turn to "hate", affection to abuse, loyalty to infidelity on any day. Anything and everything can change at any moment.

3) "Money is more integral to happiness than romantic love."
One could easily revise this backwards to say that "Romantic love is more integral to happiness than money." But you will find people on both ends of the spectrum of this opinion. Those who believe they've found an ultimate true love connection will most likely declare that love>money. Those who find their happiness in having a lot of money to play with may say the opposite. Many people with plenty of money are unhappy and lonely; maybe some of these people have the deep desire for romantic love; some may think that if they could just find that one romantic love, that they would be happy. Many couples may think if they just had plenty of money, that they'd be more happy in their romantic relationship. I've had harmonious relationships that ultimately still came to a sudden end, I've had one extremely difficult and turbulent relationship. There is a man I loved so deeply and yet he cut me out of his life. Juggling money and romantic love both have "good and bad" challenges. How you deal with both and try to find balance is unique and up to you. What is "true love"? Does that mean loving someone even with all their mistakes and flaws? Does true love = unconditional love?

4) "Every human being is a contradiction. Some hide it better than others."
This one may be true, only God would know! But just in case, a possible revised version: "Some human beings are a contradiction." In my personal opinion, all beings are unique and multi-faceted. Some of us never fully understand ourselves, all that makes us what we are, who we are in the scope of this universe. You can probably never fully understand another being unless you see life through their eyes and mind. Everyone is different, and that's okay.

5) "Never underestimate the tendency of human beings to act contrary to their own best interests."
I actually think this statement is pretty accurate and true. Many people know how bad cigarettes and drugs are, yet they proceed to undulge anyway. Many people know they shouldn't drink and drive, but they do it anyway. Many people know they're stuck in a miserable relationship, but they're too scared to leave or change it. The list can go on...

6) "If it weren't for fear of being caught, most people would behave like savages."
This is true for many people. I do think that many people would cause very serious damage to others if left unchecked by some form of controlling entity like the laws and police.
Here is a my revised version: "If it weren't for fear of being caught, most people would just be themselves." From childhood, we're conditioned by most of our surrounding sources that we look to for guidance on accepted behaviors and beliefs. Many of our beliefs are not even our "own", they've been instilled in us from an early age by whatever influenced us over the course of our lifetime. Nature versus nurture... Most of us put on a facade and don't allow ourselves to truly be ourselves and express ourselves the way we wish we could without fear of being bullied, criticized, arrested, persecuted, ostracized etc......

7) "All sex has consequences. Some of them dire."
My revised version: "Some sex has consequences, some of them dire."
When you have sex with someone, you're opening yourself up in an extremely vulnerable way, whether you realize it or not. Especially when a condom is not used. Sex isn't just something that some get pleasure from, many things are exchanged and mixed when two individuals bond together. A condom cannot protect against everything either. People with high levels of consciousness become more hyper-aware of whom they choose to make this sacred exchange with.

8) "The older you get, the faster time flies by, until months pass like days."
I'm sure some people would agree with this statement. However, unless you are "old" or until you get "old" you won't know if this statement is a "truth" for you or not. From personal experience, I can attest to that, in my opinion, the best way to live is one day at a time. Live each day that you get as best you can. Some days will be busier, better, or harder than others. If you encounter a bad day, if you can just hold on and get past the shock of some events, inevitably a new chapter will begin somewhere, things will change, and hopefully you will get better and smile again.

9) "There's no such thing as living happily ever after."
My revised version: "There is such a thing as living happily ever after." Happiness is a state of being. What a person perceives to be the cause of their feelings of happiness will vary for each individual. I'm not sure a person can be 100% happy 100% of the time, but who knows, maybe there are people in existence who are/know how to be. Living daily with a lot of gratitude for things that you DO HAVE as the focus can dramatically change a person's mood to a more positive one.

10) "Everything gets worse."
My revised version: "Some things get "worse", while other things get "better". I know that as I've aged, some things have gotten "worse", but also some things get better. One thing is my approach to situations and better awareness of my conscious thoughts and emotions. I am not yet advanced enough in my opinion to have more "control" over these things as I think I'd like to have, but its' a start. With more life experience comes more wisdom I suppose. It also seems that the longer you live, the more "baggage" you collect too....memories, pains etc... But to make sure that I leave this on a positive note, as a reader, take a moment to reflect on some things you can be grateful for in the now. Feel that gratitude in your heart. Let good memories and facets of your life bring a smile to your face. Hold onto those.

~Mandelyn Reese
The LA Street Angel

Wednesday, June 10, 2015


I recently read an article about how a 34-year-old woman was feeling pressured to get married by her friends and family. She ended up buying herself a sort of engagement ring to wear as a declaration that she would be fine on her own if it never worked out with a man. Six months later she met the love of her life suddenly during a trip. She said that if she had settled with a guy she knew that wasn't right for her, that she would've never ended up with the love of her life.

     After reading the article, it really got me thinking.  I want to be with and marry "the love of my life." I don't want to settle for someone that I know deep down is not right for me and doesn't make me happy. I certainly do not want to bring a child into this world before I've even gotten my man situation sorted out. I would rather be single than with a man who makes me miserable or who's a constant downer. I want to enjoy life and have more positive experiences than negative ones if I can help it.

With that being said, I have some declarations to make:

* I will not settle for a man who does not have his shit together.
* I will not settle for a man that I am not physically attracted to. If I am not physically attracted to a man, I cannot even genuinely get aroused and enjoy intimacy.
* I will not settle for a man who is not a spiritually enlightened being or has no interest in working on himself and opening his mind.
* I will not settle with a man with a negative mindset who constantly brings me down with complaints and criticism.
* I will not settle with a man who does not love me the way I deserve to be loved, and accept me for who I am: the good and the bad.
* I will not settle with a man who treats me like crap.
* I will not settle for a man who verbally, physically, or mentally abuses a woman in anyway.
* I will not settle with a man who is not physically fit or active.
* I will not settle with a man who just wants to stay home all the time and not be willing to go out and socialize and enjoy life. I want some adventure spirit in a man; willing to try new things and foods.
* I will not settle with a man who is nursing any sort of addictions to toxic substances such as cigarettes, drugs (prescription or illegal), or chronic alcoholism.
* I will not settle for a man who doesn't enjoy affection both publicly and in private.
* I will not settle with a man who is unable or unwilling to reciprocate and please me intimately.
* I will not settle with a man who isn't kind to others, children, and animals.
* I will not settle with a man who sucks at communication and compromise.
* I will not settle with a man who is broke or can barely take care of himself. A man who is ready for a serious relationship needs to show that he can do his part in being a good provider for a future family.
* I will not settle for a man who does not support my Angel Project or puts me down about it in any way.
* I will not settle with a man who does not exhibit chivalrous, mannerly, and respectful qualities.
* I will not settle for a man who doesn't reciprocate, do, or respond to romantic gestures. Romantic gestures help keep love and intimacy alive!
* I will not settle with a man who cannot hold an intellectual conversation with me.
* I will not settle with a man who is a complete slob and cannot even pick up after himself. I do not want to be having to always clean up after a man.
* I will not settle with a man who hardly gives nice compliments or builds me up or fails to tell me that he loves me often. Women need to hear these things from the man they love and are with!
* I do not want to settle with a man who doesn't groom himself nicely. I have spent a lot of money and work very hard to be clean and almost hairless all the time in general and would appreciate that in a partner.
* I will not settle with a man who is overly jealous, controlling, or possessive. While I love the foundation of a sacred union with a man, I do not want to feeling like I am held captive or caged by his behaviors.
* I will not settle with a man who does not respect me for who I am and what I do.

I no longer choose to carry around negativity exhibited by men who I choose not to date or be intimate with. I have enough pain and baggage from previous heartbreaking experiences that I continue to do a lot of inner healing work on. I do not need to carry around additional emotional weight from others. While I am naturally empathetic and sympathetic, I must not allow myself to carry the heavy burden of another's feelings of rejection. I have been rejected many many times, and it's definitely hurt a lot, but a new quote I heard recently that I really like and that has helped me deal with feelings of rejection is: "Rejection is God's Protection," It's either not the right person, or not the right time. Maybe you feel like you've found "the one" but they aren't ready. All you can do is hold onto faith and have patience. Maybe while you're "waiting" someone new will come along.

More to come...
~Mandelyn Reese

Monday, May 25, 2015

The Humbling Sickness

It's funny how you can be going along with your life, and all of the sudden a sweeping illness can just wipe you off your feet into unknown territory.

I hadn't been badly sick in a long time. Last time I could recount was a food poisoning barf session back in February 2014 following some questionable street tacos I ate, which obviously was a tough lesson learned.

I was at a goddess festival in Joshua Tree, California called ShaktiFest May 14-17, 2015, and as I was sitting in a spiritual workshop on that Saturday 5/16, I noticed I seemed to feel increasingly uncomfortable. My lower back and sides of my hips were aching worse than "usual". I kept trying to adjust my position on the floor to get more comfortable. As soon as the class was over, all I could think about was hauling ass to the hot tub near the dorms and soak my sore bones. I felt like I couldn't walk there fast enough across the desert festival. My lower body felt so sore it seemed almost like my legs could give out from under me and I wouldn't be able to walk any further, but somehow I made it back to my dorm and changed rapidly into my swimsuit.

I was happy I made it into the hot tub, then dismayed that a guy came and announced it'd be closing in 15 minutes. I just decided to enjoy it as thoroughly as possible for however much time I was gifted.

Once I left the hot tub and got back into my dorm, all I wanted to do was get in bed. I felt wiped out with body aches and fatigue. Suddenly, chills and goosebumps shot down and covered my entire body, and I had to put on extra layers of pajamas in a feeble attempt to keep warm. A girl who was staying in the dorm bed next to mine noticed I was in bed with my covers pulled up to my neck, and asked if I was ok. I told her I wasn't feeling very well and had chills. She touched my faced to check for fever, and exclaimed that yes, I felt very hot to her. She offered to get me some hot chai tea, and I said yes please! So she set off on the mission.

A friend of mine who was also attending the festival came to my bedside after I texted him letting him know I was in bed. Even though the place was technically co-ed and even had a bathroom labeled "Gentlemen" on it, it was generally recognized as more of a girls dorm area. All the beds in my dorm area were being used by ladies, so my friend entered rather incognito with a hoodie over his head, which was good because he walked right passed a naked girl who was changing out of her swimsuit. I told him how I was feeling, and he began to rub my back for me, trying to ease my pain. Although his efforts didn't take it away completely, it felt helpful, healing, and distracted me from the intensity of my discomfort. I was so grateful for his presence as a friend at my side, caring about what I was going through.

It wasn't long before my stomach gave me the tell-tale signal that I had better get to the bathroom and prepare to launch. I tried to make a little nest around the toilet with some towels, but there just isn't much you can really do to make blowing chunks into a toilet a more enjoyable experience. There is something uniquely humbling about having to hug a toilet and hang your head down into where people's butts have been. Just the thought of having my face down into the vicinity of where a bunch of people's butts had been shitting was enough to get the process started. It wasn't a pretty sight, but after my first expellation I did feel somewhat better. But it was only fleeting. I had many trips to the bathroom. I spewed until I had nothing left to spew, and yet my stomach kept on trying. I got so worn out having to make the trip from my bed to the bathroom, that eventually I just camped out on the bathroom floor, sometimes laying starfished all sprawled out. I didn't even care what others thought of me at that point, I was so sick.

I prayed for help, I prayed for healing, I prayed for forgiveness. I felt so awful, I felt like I was going to die. I heavily considered going to the hospital. Two things that held me back were that I was told the festival doctor would be coming to see me, and the other thing is still not having health insurance. My last visit to the ER left a disdain for the medical field.

My body aches got so severe, it felt like my whole spine was going haywire and into shock. My nervous system was freaking out. My hands, arms, and whole legs were tingling and having waves of numbness. Then my hands would freeze into temporary paralysis. My friend who was witness all this kept saying it seemed like I was going through a butterfly-cocoon transformation, and purging a lot of lower energy emotions. Two other ladies appeared and helped me get through the worst of it. They were strangers to each other, and to me, but they were my angels. They held me, massaged me, rubbed essential oils on me, hugged me, helped me walk, would tuck me into bed, encourage me, and generally saved my life that night. I don't know what I would have done without them. I feel eternally grateful for their unconditional love and assistance. And one of them I don't even remember her name. I was blessed by their presence and help. The intensity of the sickness started about 7:30pm I think and ended around 1:40am. The doctor never did come to see me, to everyone's dismay, but luckily I had other angels around that helped me get through it.

I had some moments where I wondered if I would die from the illness. I couldn't imaging it getting any worse, or I'd die or go unconscious. While part of me thought it would suck to die this way, there was another interesting part of me that was okay with it. I would be okay with the process of life and death, and if it would have been my time to die in that way at that time, then I would have just had to accept that. I may seem young to many of you reading this, but I feel like I have lived a very fulfilling life. I have gotten to go many wonderful places, been to many amazing events, met so many incredible people and made tons of beautiful memories. I did my best to help a lot of people, I put out positive messages, I pushed myself to limits I didn't know I had, and showed more courage than I knew I possessed. I was satisfied with my life, experiences, and accomplishments thus far. Sure I still have unfulfilled wishes and desires, but I feel like I have lived well.

I don't live like many other people live, I live one day at a time. I try to see the beauty in things that many others may overlook. I stop and smell the beautiful flowers and appreciate the divine creation they are, and marvel at how they came to be and unfold so majestically. I honor the energy and power of the mountains, and marvel what caused them to come into creation.

There are so many things our minds are not yet developed or open enough to comprehend, but having the respect and awareness of that is a good start.

Namaste, {The light in me, the divine spark, acknowledges the light and divine spark in you}
~Mandelyn Reese
The LA Street Angel
At the ShaktiFest, just a few hours before the sickness hit me. 5/16/15

Thursday, March 26, 2015


One night while I was sleeping as a young child, I had a vivid dream. I dreamed that I was running through some country residences as fast as I could, and I was scared. It was night time, and the moon was out. Someone was chasing after me in the distance, and as I ran I would look back over my shoulder to see if they were there.

Suddenly, something hit me with such a shocking force that it sent me tumbling to the ground. Someone had shot me in the lower right side of my back with an arrow.

I remember laying there on the ground, staring up at the night sky, admiring the stars, and knowing that I was dying. There was a strange calmness and peace within me as I laid there with my life force slowly seeping out of me.

Fast forward to 2014. I had found a mystical spiritual supply store in San Antonio, TX, the only one of its kind in the city. It carries all sorts of metaphysical books, candles, rocks, jewelry, decorations, reading cards etc... As I perused the many shelves of intriguing items, I came across a stand that held many fliers about upcoming events. I was drawn to the introductory class on Reiki energy work. I had heard about Reiki, but didn't know anything about it. I knew I had a deep interest in the healing arts and had felt healing energy flowing out of my own hands a few times, which felt like radiating heat waves.

So I signed up for the Reiki 1 class and went.

There were only 3 of us students, and the master. She taught us the basics and history of Reiki before we went to the floor to practice on each other.

When it was my turn, I laid on a massage table, while the other three ladies surrounded me and placed their hands over my body. As I lay there, I could feel the waves of energy washing through my body.

Ironically, the last few years, the lower right side of my back had developed a dull ache, that seemed to be worsening slowly. As one of the ladies' hands moved over the area, I felt energy go to that spot, and it seemed to absorb some healing energy and feel better.

When the practice was over, the master asked me and each of the other 2 students to describe anything they may have noticed or experienced. I mentioned how I felt some comforting energy go to my right side of my back. The one lady who's hands had been over my right side, looked at me with a strange surprised look, and she said that when her hands had gone over that area, she had gotten a vision of........get this......: an arrow.

I was a bit dumbfounded. I relayed to her the vivid dream I'd had as a child about being killed by an arrow that had hit me in that same spot. She probably turned as white as the sheet I was laying on. She was clearly shocked. She was very new to spiritual research and she'd never experienced anything like that before.

It made me really wonder and think....had my dream actually been a memory of a death in a past life?

~Mandelyn Reese
The LA Street Angel

Saturday, January 10, 2015


Why are we put through things that make us struggle
Why do some things have to hurt so bad
How come sometimes you're brought so low you feel broken beyond repair

I wonder to myself, if things were better between people, would we as humans experience less pain, less heartbreak, less emotional turmoil. If people were kinder, more considerate, cared more about each other, took the time to reach out to someone even just to say hi. Maybe there wouldn't be so much agony and chaos in the world. Maybe life would be easier to live. If people would just work together, for the greater common good, like an ant pile operates.

How come relationships, the ones closest to you, hurt you the most. Those people you let in your heart, whether because they are your blood or a romantic love, why do those people sometimes torture you the most. How many of us look fine on the outside but bare deep wounds from others on the inside. Memory scars that never heal.

If life is a school, why do we have to suffer? Is life a school? Has anyone actually ever figured out the purpose of life? If "karma" is real, why do we have to worry about causing it or balancing it?
Are we just supposed to live life one day at a time and not worry so much about consequences? because we can never fully know the full consequences of our choices and actions. Some consequences show up years or even decades later.

There are a zillion different religions and belief sets that trace back as far as man can be traced. If we have come from a divine creator of some sort, why are we in this life suffering? Why do we have to experience pain? Why does it feel like things are set up to drive a person crazy? Why do things like war, rape, molestation, torture, abuse, murder even happen? Why do things have to be like this on Earth?

I feel like I have too many questions, and not enough answers. I've read so many books, articles, and information, and I feel even more confused than when I began my questioning and research. There are a zillion people out there with advice to give, but for every point of advice there seems to exist an exact opposite.

I think I did feel whole for a little while as a small child, before my parents broke me, before men broke me, before life and the world broke me. Once things are broken, they are never the same again.

All you can do is try to mend the pieces, and cope with the scars, that no one else can see. And pray you keep the will and courage to continue.

~Mandelyn Reese