Tuesday, July 28, 2015

10 Bitter Truths About Adulthood

Recently I decided to try out a free month trial of Netflix. One night, when I found myself with nothing to do, I began to peruse their movie offerings, and ended up settling on watching a movie called, "Ask Me Anything." This movie is about a young woman caught somewhere between the post-high school and early college age, who is sleeping around with various men and documenting her crazy sex life in an anonymous blog. While I found the movie to be strangely entertaining and amusing, it also was quite thought-provoking upon its completion. There were "10 Bitter Truths About Adulthood for your reading pleasure" that were presented by a man played by Christian Slater in the movie. I wrote them down, and then ultimately decided that they were worded too "negatively". Here in THIS blog, I will share what the movie shared as their view of "10 Bitter Truths About Adulthood", but I will revise some of them to not be so "permanent", all-encompassing, and "negative" in their viewpoint. In my opinion, we need more POSITIVITY and uplifting outlooks in this matrix/society/world.

1) "Complete honesty is a complete lie."
 My revised version: "Complete honesty is complete honesty." However, the only one who knows you're speaking complete honesty is YOURSELF. Other people can listen to you, but they'll never know if what you speak is the full truth, has omitted information, or if your stories are skewed or exaggerated etc... You could be telling someone the entire truth about your situation, and they may still doubt you and think you're lying and hiding other information. This type of doubting person can absolutely drive you NUTS because YOU KNOW you were sharing the whole truth!! A great example of this is being interrogated by police. If they have their mind made up that you were a culprit behind something, they will refuse to believe whatever you tell them, even if YOU KNOW that your "alibi" is fully true and valid. Another great example is once someone close to you catches you in a lie or finds out you've hidden some parts of a story....then forevermore they will always think your stories will have holes and lies in them. This can be most difficult to deal with, because you may never be able to convince them of your truth in the future, and end up feeling exasperated trying to explain yourself to one of these people.

2) "Marriage is sacred only to those who've never been married."
My revised version: "Marriage is sacred to those who CHOOSE to believe that it is sacred."
Having been married and subsequently divorced myself, I do have my own individual beliefs about marriage, one obviously being that hopes for a marriage to last for the remainder of your lifetime in this body, may not come true, no matter how hard you try. I'm sure many of the people in the "50% divorce rate" bracket may agree with me. However, just because a person experiences a "failed" marriage, doesn't mean they won't consider marriage to be a "sacred" practice between two people. What is marriage anyway? A piece of paper politically approving that two people are joining in a legally recognized relationship? An agreement between two people that they love each other and will stay together honoring promises and vows? Things change, it's inevitable. Both individuals are unique specimens that are in constant change throughout their lifetime in a body. The body changes. The person's interests change, the person's career and family units may change. Due to constant changes, two people who love each other may or may not stay in congruence with the changes within and all around them that make it right or easy to continue being together. Love can turn to "hate", affection to abuse, loyalty to infidelity on any day. Anything and everything can change at any moment.

3) "Money is more integral to happiness than romantic love."
One could easily revise this backwards to say that "Romantic love is more integral to happiness than money." But you will find people on both ends of the spectrum of this opinion. Those who believe they've found an ultimate true love connection will most likely declare that love>money. Those who find their happiness in having a lot of money to play with may say the opposite. Many people with plenty of money are unhappy and lonely; maybe some of these people have the deep desire for romantic love; some may think that if they could just find that one romantic love, that they would be happy. Many couples may think if they just had plenty of money, that they'd be more happy in their romantic relationship. I've had harmonious relationships that ultimately still came to a sudden end, I've had one extremely difficult and turbulent relationship. There is a man I loved so deeply and yet he cut me out of his life. Juggling money and romantic love both have "good and bad" challenges. How you deal with both and try to find balance is unique and up to you. What is "true love"? Does that mean loving someone even with all their mistakes and flaws? Does true love = unconditional love?

4) "Every human being is a contradiction. Some hide it better than others."
This one may be true, only God would know! But just in case, a possible revised version: "Some human beings are a contradiction." In my personal opinion, all beings are unique and multi-faceted. Some of us never fully understand ourselves, all that makes us what we are, who we are in the scope of this universe. You can probably never fully understand another being unless you see life through their eyes and mind. Everyone is different, and that's okay.

5) "Never underestimate the tendency of human beings to act contrary to their own best interests."
I actually think this statement is pretty accurate and true. Many people know how bad cigarettes and drugs are, yet they proceed to undulge anyway. Many people know they shouldn't drink and drive, but they do it anyway. Many people know they're stuck in a miserable relationship, but they're too scared to leave or change it. The list can go on...

6) "If it weren't for fear of being caught, most people would behave like savages."
This is true for many people. I do think that many people would cause very serious damage to others if left unchecked by some form of controlling entity like the laws and police.
Here is a my revised version: "If it weren't for fear of being caught, most people would just be themselves." From childhood, we're conditioned by most of our surrounding sources that we look to for guidance on accepted behaviors and beliefs. Many of our beliefs are not even our "own", they've been instilled in us from an early age by whatever influenced us over the course of our lifetime. Nature versus nurture... Most of us put on a facade and don't allow ourselves to truly be ourselves and express ourselves the way we wish we could without fear of being bullied, criticized, arrested, persecuted, ostracized etc......

7) "All sex has consequences. Some of them dire."
My revised version: "Some sex has consequences, some of them dire."
When you have sex with someone, you're opening yourself up in an extremely vulnerable way, whether you realize it or not. Especially when a condom is not used. Sex isn't just something that some get pleasure from, many things are exchanged and mixed when two individuals bond together. A condom cannot protect against everything either. People with high levels of consciousness become more hyper-aware of whom they choose to make this sacred exchange with.

8) "The older you get, the faster time flies by, until months pass like days."
I'm sure some people would agree with this statement. However, unless you are "old" or until you get "old" you won't know if this statement is a "truth" for you or not. From personal experience, I can attest to that, in my opinion, the best way to live is one day at a time. Live each day that you get as best you can. Some days will be busier, better, or harder than others. If you encounter a bad day, if you can just hold on and get past the shock of some events, inevitably a new chapter will begin somewhere, things will change, and hopefully you will get better and smile again.

9) "There's no such thing as living happily ever after."
My revised version: "There is such a thing as living happily ever after." Happiness is a state of being. What a person perceives to be the cause of their feelings of happiness will vary for each individual. I'm not sure a person can be 100% happy 100% of the time, but who knows, maybe there are people in existence who are/know how to be. Living daily with a lot of gratitude for things that you DO HAVE as the focus can dramatically change a person's mood to a more positive one.

10) "Everything gets worse."
My revised version: "Some things get "worse", while other things get "better". I know that as I've aged, some things have gotten "worse", but also some things get better. One thing is my approach to situations and better awareness of my conscious thoughts and emotions. I am not yet advanced enough in my opinion to have more "control" over these things as I think I'd like to have, but its' a start. With more life experience comes more wisdom I suppose. It also seems that the longer you live, the more "baggage" you collect too....memories, pains etc... But to make sure that I leave this on a positive note, as a reader, take a moment to reflect on some things you can be grateful for in the now. Feel that gratitude in your heart. Let good memories and facets of your life bring a smile to your face. Hold onto those.

~Mandelyn Reese
The LA Street Angel