Saturday, June 29, 2013

Bravery and Mace

Back when I was a freshman in college, my mom convinced me to be a live-in nanny for one of her friend's kids: a 15 year old boy (Josh*) and a 14 year old girl. I'd get to live in their nice big 2-story house with pay while their mother lived in Los Angeles (how ironic) to work. I'm not sure why I agreed to this fiasco, but I did.

So I became a 19-year old nanny to two teens that lacked parental support, all while I was in college full time and carried a second part-time job. Somehow I managed and still made the honors list and Dean's List every semester!

The teenage boy, Josh, began to run with a sketchy crowd. One time I came home from school and was shocked to find a bunch of older looking gangster guys in our living room! I didn't like that at all.

One day, I was upstairs in my room, and I heard talking outside. I looked out my window and saw Josh with one of his nice neighborhood friends out on the driveway discussing smoking a joint that he had in his hand. (LOL, busted!)

Suddenly, out of the blue, a red car came speeding up to the driveway, and a tall black kid jumped out of the passenger side of the car and just starting beating on Josh! I was like "HOLY SH!T!!"
I went into like this robot mode where I ran to my purse, got my mace, concealed it in my hand, ran downstairs, and shot out the front door. I didn't even have my shoes on.

Once I got out the door, I didn't want to appear threatening by running up on the scene, (not that a tiny 100-pound blonde is very threatening to a tall thug) so I carefully walked up to them. The thug had stopped pounding Josh and was instead yelling in his face about "Talking sh!t about him" and Josh was sobbing that he didn't know what the thug was talking about. His face was all red and welted from the beating.

I walked up and stood next to them, closer than I wanted to be, but somehow I had balls of steel in that moment.

I could tell the thug was getting ready to throw another punch, so I acted:
I put the mace right up to his eyeball and let him have it!!

He flew the coup. He was running all over the street holding his face and screeching like a little girl finding Easter eggs. There were two other guys in the car, and I heard one of them yell out, "GET THAT BITCH!"
I grabbed Josh, hauled his ass into the house, and locked the door. Moments later, we heard a loud crashing sound: the thug had thrown a brick through the front glass door. It was terrifying.

We called 911 and filed a whole report. The cops looked impressed as I recounted what happened. We packed up some stuff and all spent the night at my Dad's house in fear of retaliation from the group of thugs.

Upon a follow-up meeting with a detective, where I had to pick out the perp from a lineup, I was told that the thug I had maced had been expelled from his school for carrying a gun!

A few nights later, I was home alone and expecting a visit from my boyfriend any minute. The doorbell rang, and I just opened the door thinking it was my boyfriend, and I was face-to-face with the thug I had maced. Chills went all through my body and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, as I was immediately panic stricken. "You pressin' charges against me?!" he asked. I kept my cool and straight up lied to him, saying no, we were letting it go. His demeanor changed, and he said he was sorry and left. I swear I think angels were watching over me for not only the original attack, but that late-night visit too.

That incident ended the nanny job. The mother came back from LA to pack up her kids and get them out of that school & neighborhood. Good thing she did, because our sweet next-door neighbor lady who made us food sometimes was MURDERED by one of the neighborhood thugs in an awful way just a few days after we moved out. She was robbed, beaten, stabbed, strangled, and her home partially set on fire. I saw it on the news and was horrified; she was such a kind woman.

Lessons: *Mace is a handy thing to have in a crisis! *ALWAYS check before answering the door!!

~Mandelyn Reese

Friday, June 28, 2013

Here I am

"Here I Am"

Here I am for all to see
So much life ahead of me

I have been there
I have cried
I have loved
The old me died

I loved too much
Believed many lies
Gave all of myself
Tears poured from my eyes

Here I am for you to judge
Will I get a chance?

I am loving, I am honest
I am faithful, caring, true
You just ask and I will tell
I hide nothing away from you

I wear my heart
on my sleeve
and my emotions
on my face

Will you love me?
Will you care?
Do you pass on a good thing
when it is right there?

I could be your dream come true
Take that chance
It's up to you

~Mandelyn Reese


Tuesday, June 25, 2013

On the topic of Love

*These are my opinions based on my life experiences and the information that I received while meditating on the topic and feeling of love*You don't have to take my opinions as factual or believe me*

Here are some more of my views on love based on my life stories:

As damaged as I feel I have been from my past emotional experiences with men, I still have hope and believe in love. Love doesn't always come easy, and it can change form at any moment. To me, love lessons feel the most epic. Sometimes events will deal you a major blow, a doozey, that blindsides you, and you are forced to adjust (like my high school-college sweetheart/fiance of 3.5 years dumping me out-of-the-blue on my 21st birthday. One minute you have a fiance and the next minute it's over.) Yeah, sometimes life is drastic to get you moving along to the next step.

Love can just happen, even with someone you never expect it to happen with. For example, with the high school sweetheart that I previously mentioned: we were on a team of 5 people for an 11th-grade history project, and we weren't even attracted to each other or seemed remotely interested in each other. He certainly wasn't the "type" that I usually am attracted to naturally. The night before the history project was due, he and I were the only ones available to complete it. We met at the public library, and somewhere during our research, the spark happened, and we ended up together for 3.5 years.

Love transcends all traits, which is why people of drastically different cultural and ethnic backgrounds can find themselves in love and desperate to make it work to be together. People have commented to me several times that the guys that I've dated "don't look like guys they thought I would date". I guess that is each person's own view, but I am open-minded about traits: it's about the connection, feelings, chemistry, gut feelings. I have been attracted to different men for different reasons and ended up in love (or not).

Love can hit anytime without warning: For anyone who has experienced that also, they'll probably agree that it is like Cupid shooting a love arrow into your heart without warning. My story of experiencing that is with the last boyfriend I had that I moved from Texas to California to join (but then broke it off shortly after moving here for various reasons). When I first met him, I was adamant I didn't want to date, and then somewhere during a 3 hour conversation I had with him, suddenly I had feelings for him. Like the feelings came out of no-where and I can't even pin-point what spurred it. I'd started the conversation saying "I don't want to date you", and after the conversation I felt like he was very important to me. (In hindsight, I believe his highest purpose in my life was to bring me to Los Angeles, the City of Angels, where I got my Angel calling on my second day in LA).

You can develop love feelings for someone before even meeting them. My life story for this lesson in love is I stumbled across my ex-husband's Myspace profile when Myspace was first becoming popular. He had a public link to a blog he kept, and I was bored at work on a graveyard shift, so I read through some of it. Feelings stirred inside pretty early on that he was "The One" before I'd even met him in person. We were together for 6.5 years, married for 4 of those years, and still good friends even after divorce. Sometimes two people may love each other, but may not stay on the same path or remain congruent with each other in a relationship, since people are in constant evolution, as is the relationship itself.

 Each relationship is as unique as the print on your thumb. Love is a certain form of euphoria, and can be present in various forms with different people, animals, and objects. One example is if you're trying out dating multiple people while you're single, you may have feelings for or love each person differently, and have to decide which one feels the most "right" in your heart and gut. Another example is that a relationship between each parent will be unique with each child, and relationships between siblings will each be unique.

Love can feel like a drug, or a high, and be nearly impossible to turn off or turn down! (It's linked to the brain chemicals oxytocin and PEA!) But also, research has shown that the heart is hardwired to love. Did you know that pain from a broken heart registers in the same part of the brain as a broken arm? I learned that in my Psychology and Health class in college.

~Mandelyn Reese

My diary entry from 4/29/13

I just had an epiphany. The reason that love makes us "crazy" or scrambles our marbles, is because the heart overrides the mind. The emotion frequency of love overpowers all. Love will make you do crazy things, or stay with people that hurt and abuse you, or take you for granted. Love, being the most positive strong emotional frequency, will do almost anything for the object of attention.

Love is the most powerful force and the strongest fuel.

Love comes from spirit, which is pure. Hate comes from a contaminated mind.

~Mandelyn Reese, The LA Street Angel

9/6/13 My friend posted this pic on Facebook, and I decided it should be added to this blog!!
My video on LOVE

Date-rape drugged

Sometimes things happen to you that just don't make sense. You have to take some time to sit back and process just how certain things went down, and what lessons were hidden within the experience.

Wednesday, June 19th, 2013, I had plans to go to an 80s party at a club in Studio City, CA. At another recent event, even though it was a really nice upscale event, I attracted a pretty major creeper: an older guy who followed me around and kept saying THREE different times that I should go home with him. WTF. So after that happened, I knew I needed to be going to events with some kind of friend or escort (I usually try to anyway, but I have gone stag to several events). Since I wasn't sure if I'd know anyone at the 80s party, I knew I'd better bring a guy friend (body guard) with me, because I was going to be doing my Angel Project wearing a fun, colorful, cute outfit. I was excited to have an excuse to wear something crazy and rainbow-colored!

A guy "friend" of mine, whom I'd hung out with a few times before and met at a few red carpet events, had offered to take me to a pre-screening of World War Z earlier that night. I really wanted to see that movie, so I accepted the offer, and also asked him if he'd accompany me to the 80s party after the movie.

Now, I had had a conversation with this guy, prior to him asking me to the movie, about just being friends. In my brain, I'd made it clear, and thought he understood. He'd said that's cool, but still wanted to hangout because he enjoyed my company. I remember him making this comment after the conversation: "I feel like I want something I can't have." Seemed to me like a pretty natural response for a guy to feel that way after he's been declined the opportunity to date me. Maybe I am just too trusting and naive sometimes; I always try to give people a chance. Nevertheless, the plans were set and I was totally stoked about the 80s party and my crazy outfit.

When I met up with the guy, the first thing I noticed was his sweater shirt. It had a rather disturbing-looking skull face with scissors cutting up a peace olive branch. As soon as I saw it, I verbally told him that I thought his shirt looked like a "sign" to me, and I even asked him if I could take a photo of it, which I did. Here is the photo of the guy's shirt that was a clear caution sign from the Universe in my face that this bad guy was wearing!!:

                                                                     Actual photo I took

So it IS true that you DO GET SIGNS, you just have to be PAYING ATTENTION!!!

When we arrived at the 80s party, I went to the bathroom. When I came out, the guy had already ordered TWO tequila shots and set them in front of the chair I'd be sitting in. I told him I didn't want two, but I'd sip on one. I handed the second shot back over to him. I went around the club doing my Angel thing, taking photos with people and telling them what I was doing with my project. Eventually the guy came over to me and asked if I wanted another drink; I saw someone with a beer, and decided a cold beer sounded pretty good right about then, so the dude ordered me a Blue Moon. I drank that, and that's all she wrote. Things got pretty hazy after that.

The next thing I remember is he'd taken me back to his apartment, instead of my car like he was supposed to. I remember just hanging over his toilet throwing up what seemed like nonstop. He came into the bathroom and picked me up off the floor and took me to his bed. I was laying there for a little while totally delirious and feeling so sick. He somehow was already down to his boxers while I was still fully clothed. He started grinding up against my back and kept pulling on my shorts, trying to get into my pants, but I pushed his hands away. Thank God for the outfit I wore that night: I had on very tight shorts as well as tights underneath the shorts, so it wasn't easy for him to get into them. I usually wear Angel dresses; if I had been wearing a dress, this story might have been a lot worse. After I pushed his hands away from my shorts, he went for my top...and like the speed of light, he'd gotten my top off. At that point, I grabbed my top back, and struggled to get out of his bed. I had trouble standing and walking. I somehow staggered to the bathroom, and proceeded to throw up some more. I threw up until I could barely breathe anymore, like I was past dry heaving and almost dying because I was struggling to breathe. I vaguely remember him coming up to me and putting some pill in my hand and telling me to take it, saying it was a "muscle relaxer". He walked out of the bathroom and I put the pill in my pocket; there was no way in hell I was going to take that shit! It's messed up that he tried to make me take some mystery pill when I was in that awful condition and barfing my guts up.

At some point, I decided I was coherent enough to try to demand him to take me back to my car. It worked. I remember standing in front of him, and I was trembling from my lips all the way through my feet and I had goosebumps all over my body, but I felt numb. Despite him begging me to stay and telling me that I'd probably get a DWI, I was determined to get the hell out of his clutches. I had the feeling that if I didn't get out of there, he'd keep trying to get in my pants.

He took me to my car, and I got in, and he left. I felt so relieved to be in my car, but that wasn't the end. I was still pretty messed up. I prayed aloud, asking the Angels to help me get home safely. I was in the middle of Hollywood, and I lived near Santa I had a ways to drive unfortunately. Somehow the time has passed so much, it was already about 3:30am, so luckily there was hardly anyone on the roads and most traffic lights were green. I started to drive. I got to the highway, and in my condition, I accidentally took East instead of West without realizing it. As I was driving, I realized something about where I was going didn't look right, and luckily I was in a lane that forced me to exit, so I pulled off to the first parking lot I saw and parked. I took out my phone GPS to see where I was, and realized I'd gone the wrong direction. I was rather devastated about that, since all I wanted so bad was to be home safe, and for the whole night to be over and done with.

Suddenly, without warning, my body began having these full-body episodes of paralysis. I have never experienced anything like that before. It was like I'd been shot by a tranquilizer gun that zoo-keepers use on animals. My whole body went stiff, my hands froze up and my fingers looked all crooked. My head fell against the steering wheel and I just had to sit there in paralysis until it passed. It was scary and bizarre because my mind and eyes worked, but my whole body was frozen stiff. I'm glad the paralysis episodes didn't kick in while I was in the predator's apartment! And I'm glad I was able to safely pull off the road before I became paralyzed. Once the paralysis eased up, I dialed my ex husband in Texas, who was still a good friend. By miracle, he answered. I was shocked he didn't have his cell on silent, since it was like 5:30am in Texas at the time I'd called him. I told him what had happened and how I felt, and he told me that it sounded like I'd been given date-rape drugs. He stayed on the phone with me for an HOUR and 15 minutes while I struggled to get home. I kept having to pull off the highway to let the waves of paralysis pass. But I finally made it home safely, where I spent the next day and a half holed-up in my apartment recovering and barfing more. Now I know why cops and hospitals tell women to not bathe after being raped, because that was my main urge once I got home. I immediately ran a hot bath and got in. The drugs he gave me and the whole experience with him gave me the cold shivers and I felt traumatized. It was like my body was in some sort of shock state.

You may be asking, Why didn't she go to the hospital or call 911? Well...I did call 911, but not until I'd partially recovered at home. I called and had a conversation with the operator about what happened, and got her advice. She said I could go to a hospital and have a date-rape kit done on me, and I'd have to pay for drug testing of my body system before making a police report. I didn't go to the hospital because I've lost faith in them...In January I went to the ER for something, got treated like crap, they didn't help at all, and got billed nearly $8,000 for the visit. I had just gotten most of those insane bills reduced or erased from filling out several patient assistance applications. {You can read the story about my ER visit here: The ER Visit }

I decided because it was such a grey-area case and I hadn't actually been raped, that I didn't want to deal with it all. I was still grappling with the whole experience. This guy was someone I thought I could trust, ironically he was supposed to be my body guard against other creepers, but he was the main danger all along, a wolf in sheep's clothing. The thought of getting a bunch of rape tests done on me, having to tell a bunch of hospital workers and cops the whole story, having to make a report...all of it just gave me huge amounts of anxiety. It wasn't until several days later that I realized that I was dealing with some level of post traumatic stress about the whole experience...Now I know why so many women who are victimized struggle with reporting the crimes.

While trying to figure out why this happened to me, I grabbed one of my inspirational books, asked God for a message, and opened the book. The passage it showed me was this: "If you want to live as a healer, you must be able to relate to those who are hurting." --I may not have been raped that night, but I certainly can relate now to women who've gone through something similar. I'm one of the lucky ones... I got away. I didn't fully lose consciousness or get raped. By miracle I was able to drive home, even in my jacked up condition. The second passage I read from the same book was this: "Sometimes God will put you in situations that will stretch you and force you to use your faith."

I decided after this incident, it's time for me to move home. I need to be in a city and place where I feel safer. I've reached a level of publicity with my angel project where it's probably not a good idea to stay here...I'm out here all by myself with no definite support network. I can continue my Angel Project in Texas and go from there.

~Mandelyn Reese
*Updates on "Date Rape Drugged":
--Almost a week after being drugged, I got a text from the culprit because he'd noticed I'd blocked him on Facebook. I took the opportunity to confront him, telling him we weren't friends anymore because I suspected that he'd slipped something in that last beer he brought me, and how messed up it was that he was groping all over me trying to take advantage of me while I was clearly in a near-comatose and violently ill throwing-up state. That clearly1 shot and 1 beer doesn't give a woman that kind of a reaction including episodes of full body paralysis.
--Also, I got a message from a woman I'd met at a meditation meeting after she read my blog. She said that my blog about being date rape drugged inspired her to finally go make a police report that she'd been raped many years ago by a guy she'd thought was her friend. I'm glad that recounting my experience, while scary, actually helped someone else.
*I  moved back to Texas on November 24th, 2013 for a year. Then I ended up moving BACK to Los Angeles February 2015.

Friday, June 14, 2013

Doing the right thing

On 6/13/13 I was leaving the gym, and I was jogging through the parking lot back to my car when I screeched to a halt because something caught my eye: something on the ground between 2 parked cars that looked like a checkbook. I went over to investigate it and picked up a bundle: it was a checkbook and 2 thin planners rubber-banded together. It looked like something that someone didn't mean to drop on the ground! I opened them up and there was even a $100 bill sitting inside one of the planners. I looked for contact info, but could only find other people's numbers, so I started to call the ones written at the top of the list. I picked people to call with last names that matched the last name of the people listed on the checkbook. Turns out I'd found an elderly couple's stuff, and I was able to reach their out-of-state adult children to obtain their cell phone number. I met them at the gym shortly later to return their lost items, and they were so relieved and happy that the woman stuffed a $20 bill in my hand for their appreciation. Later in the day, one of their daughters I had called phoned me to thank me for doing that for their parents. :D

I have more cool stories like this one from my past! Here is another:

One time when I was in elementary school, I think 5th grade, I was playing in the ball room at Chuck E Cheese, and I found a man's wallet! It was FULL of a bunch of cash too! I turned the wallet into the manager, who told me that the man who's wallet I'd found had been frantic and asking if anyone had found it. The manager rewarded me with 2 rolls of tokens for my honesty.  :)

Around the same age as the last story, sometime when I was a kid, I was sitting in a tube floating around the lazy river at the theme park, Fiesta Texas, in San Antonio, TX, when I spotted a little black draw-string purse floating in the water right next to me. I grabbed it, and upon opening it, was shocked to see a large roll of cash! Mainly $20 bills. I got out of the river and showed my mom, and with her help, we were able to find the owners of the lost money. They were 2 young girls and that was their entire vacation money they'd lost! They sent me a thank you letter with a photo of themselves, expressing their gratitude that their money was returned. I still have the letter to this day. :)

It feels awesome to do good deeds. Go forth and look for ways to help others!

~Mandelyn Reese 
The LA Street Angel

Sunday, June 9, 2013


If you are going to love,
love unconditionally.

If you are going to kiss,
kiss like you mean it.

If you are going to touch,
touch with care and kindness.

If you are going to see,
see into another's soul
and see the beauty of nature.

If you are going to seek,
seek out the curiosities of your spirit.

If you are going to hear,
hear the beauty of rain,
the wind in the trees,
the emotions of another.

If you are going to live,
live every day for new experiences,
and higher awareness.

~Mandelyn Reese
The LA Street Angel
Written 3/10/13
Posted 6/9/13

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Update on blog "The Epic Healing"

  • May 23
  • Jennifer Thomas

    Mandelyn, I HAVE to share with you that I started my period again two and half days ago, and it is HANDS DOWN the BEST, LEAST PAINFUL period I have ever had--EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! I am in tears of amazement as I write this. I've still had some pain, but I've taken only about 10 Advil over the course of it, as opposed to the usual 3-4 Advil every 3 hours, which comes out to about 40 for the month! Plus, I didn't even wear my heating pad on my lap today while working. I am so, so grateful to the healing portal that you opened up for me for this!! You can't even imagine how freed I feel right now from a lifetime of pain that has haunted me.
    Thank you and bless you.
    I love you and miss you!!
    P.S. You can add my comments above to your blog if you want. People need to know the amazing healing that is possible!